I wish I could say I had it figured out by now. The origins of the creative mind...still boggle mine. Last summer, I went through a horrific spell of depression. I feel okay to speak of it here. It's real life and at some point or another the majority of us go through it. At that point, so lost in my mind, I was producing a great deal of work. Very advanced, intricate, personal work. As that heaviness lifted and my spirits rose I found myself not so compelled to get behind the lens..and honestly alright with it. It's like my introverted self shifted and found solace in the exterior world.
This year has been filled with firsts, and I'm so grateful I've gotten to experience them. As far as harnessing that creative genius? I don't think we have much control over it. I feel like I have fried my mind trying to compute this. Do I need to be in an ill state to produce work? Who am I if I am not? Enough to make you go absolutely mad. So instead, I've somewhat surrendered to it. I can't force something that is not there. It's like a finicky rose bush. Some seasons it blooms steadily producing average flowers, others it seems like it has been stunted only to give birth to one miraculous blossom. I can't predict or forecast what may come my way. What I do know is, that I love to create, I love the relationships that have stemmed from it and I'm thankful I have been given this.. peculiar gift :)